And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
