she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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