I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
