Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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