drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
