bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
