It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
