oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
