is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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