Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
