so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
