i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
