First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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