How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
