dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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