batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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