Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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