The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
