The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
