Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
