He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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