In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
