Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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