did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
