FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
