Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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