the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
