hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize