Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
