I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
