and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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