I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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