thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I forget how to act sober
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
