They should really pass out barf bags in church
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I need to sanitize my soul.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
