Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
