I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
