sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
