Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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