Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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