CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
