Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize