Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
