Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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