I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just found puke in my bra..
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
