don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize