Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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