I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
