We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
