the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
last night I used snow as a chaser
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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