Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
They took my balls.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
