Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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