I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
