wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
