I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
