he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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