Got a toothbrush?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
