I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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