we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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