it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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